Things to Do While Social Distancing

Now that our daily habits have been completely altered by the covid-19 pandemic, I thought maybe we could stand to take a moment to lighten things up for a bit. So, I came up with a partial list of things we could do while stuck inside our homes with our families and no sports on TV:

• Talk to each other. Weird, I know, to communicate without texting, but you’re stuck in the same place, so maybe you could get to know each other a little better. By talking. If you are home alone, you can also accomplish this by using the “phone” function of your phone to actually call someone. Ask each other questions, like:
  • “How was school today?” “How was work today?” “How did you sleep last night?”
  • “How about that local sports team?” “How about those clouds outside?”
  • “Seen any good movies lately?” “Read any good books lately?”
  • “Who are you again?”
• Play a board game or work a puzzle together as a family each day. Go down into the basement. Find the bookshelf with the cobwebs on it in the corner. There should be a bunch of rectangular cardboard boxes on it. Those are called puzzles and board games. They’re sort of like apps, but in real life. You can also do this over the phone, if you have the same board game or puzzle.
• Break out the old game system and show the kids what it was like to play video games before they got all realistic and stuff. Or have a family tournament on the new system: play Mario Kart or Call of Duty with the kids.
• When things get too loud, encourage the kids to have a staring contest or play “The Quiet Game.”
• Scan those old photos into the computer before they get lost in a flood or fire. Save them to the cloud so they can get lost in the coming robopocalypse.
• Step outside without getting into your car, and take a walk as a family. Obviously, since you’re on governmental lock-down, you can only walk around your backyard, but still – fresh air!
• Take a bath or a nap. Relax. Take care of yourself. Let Calgon take you away.
• Read your Bible; do a family devotion; pray together; worship online together.

By the same token, here are some things not to do while trapped inside together:

• Start a household project. You know as soon as you get started, you’ll realize you’re missing a necessary tool and be tempted to run out to the hardware store. If you never try to be productive, you won’t be tempted to break quarantine. Feel free to use this excuse totally valid reason when explaining to your spouse.
• Have a horror movie marathon. This will not go well for you or your family. Also, do not install elaborate security systems, take a camcorder into the woods, or disturb any Indian burial grounds…
• Have toilet paper fights. Are you insane? That stuff is like gold right now! Put it back in the closet and padlock the closet shut. There now, that’s better.
• Shop online. First off, you don’t need that Snuggie. Second, the package it will come in is a health risk. Third, the shipping delays will just frustrate you anyway.
• Work nonstop without giving yourself a break. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Wait, what was I saying? Anyway, make the most of the new restrictions, and focus on the bright side: it’s only Apocalypse, it’s not THEpocalypse.

~Ever, RevErik